The Trouble With Robots

Sometimes writing a blog is therapeutic. There’s actually research to prove writing soothes the soul, so here goes. My latest frustration triggers are the robots companies use to avoid complaints…good for them, not so good for the rest of us.

I had a recent encounter with a telephone robot that reminded me I’m still capable of losing my serenity, despite years of dabbling in meditative practices.

The automated robot is one modern convenience I can do without. It’s actually only a convenience for the company that uses the automated woman. I’m sure they come in male versions, but I can’t recall. Maybe these companies feel that a female voice would sound more soothing to the listener, but to me she sounds like a creepy female version of Hal, the robot from the movie 2001.

It’s Halloween season and I could probably deal with creepy, but she’s also a sadistic somebody. She wants to know why I called in, and when I attempt to explain, she says, in a totally non-feeling monotone voice, “I didn’t understand.”

Enough Is Enough

It’s at this point I can feel my blood pressure rising. Before my next call, I’ll be sure to strap on a blood pressure cuff.

It only takes a second or two before I find myself screaming into the phone. I realize I’m screaming at a robot. On an intellectual level, I know how crazy this is. My emotions have been totally hijacked by this idiotic chick. Doesn’t she get what “connect me to a representative means?”

On some level, I think she gets it. This is where her sadistic tendencies blossom. She’s in total control, and she knows it. 

At this point, my only option is to drive to the store. I used my best tones of civility and sanity as I expressed my discontent to the guy at the front door. Then, after taking a number, I smugly listened to the next customer describe how she was screaming into the phone to no avail. Misery loves company, as they say.

Ahh…The Joy of Humans

It’s so satisfying describing your problem to someone with real flesh and blood vocal chords, someone with the ability to actually listen, understand, and get you to a representative.

I have a renewed appreciation for humans. I know it’s not easy working in customer service, but replacing humans with robots is a disservice to humanity. There’s something so soothing about speaking to an actual human being.

But, robots are everywhere. replacing us at every juncture. I think they call it progress. Even surgeries are being hijacked by robots. Mercifully, at least you’re given anesthesia. 

So, I have a message for these companies. Instead of sending me an email survey to ask how you did, you could send me an anti-anxiety prescription with the instructions, “Take 30 minutes before your next call.” 

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