Bad Hair Day?

Your Crowning Glory

Today’s topic is hair. If you live in Florida, the term “good hair day” is an oxymoron.

Actually, good hair days do exist, but since the brain gives more weight to bad hair days, it only feels like they don’t.

Women take their hair very seriously, and I’m no exception. Today, after my morning exercise, I got a quick glance at my hair as I walked past the mirror… the word “electrocution” comes to mind.

Hair is said to be a woman’s “crowning glory.” 

That’s a lot of pressure. 

For some women, “crowning glory” hits the mark, but for many women it’s the slim divide between what separates a good day from a bad day.

My Hair’s History

The truth is…I love my hair. I’m just happy to have hair. Even as an infant I was follicley challenged. My mother had to stick a bow on top of my head to convince the public I was female. 

Then, as a child, there was the “Tonette” experience, where my once straight locks were twisted into tight curls making me resemble the then over- 80’s crowd. 

I had more personal control over my hair as a teen, but it meant undergoing what felt like acupuncture of the head. Those curlers were like miniature needles you were supposed to get a good night’s sleep on. You had to be a little bit masochistic to put yourself through that torture. Every woman I know praised the introduction of the foam rubber curlers… so pink…so feminine.

When I say I love my hair, one of the things I cherish most is the color…gray. I waited a long time for this. For years, I colored my hair. When I told my dad I was going back to my natural color, he replied, in his deadpan fashion, “What color is that?” 

All Is Not Lost

I’ve figured out a way to profit from the bad hair day curse. In “Fried Green Tomatoes” I noticed one of the characters, Sipsey I believe, covered the mirrors when Ruth Jamison died. That was a custom back then.

I believe this custom should be extended to women on bad hair days.

 Maybe I’ll start marketing “ Bad Hair Day Covers” for your mirrors…probably more lucrative than playing the lottery.

Isn’t that what’s called “making lemonade out of lemons”?

No Good Deed Goes Unpunished

Annoyances

I have to add one more annoyance to my list of stress triggers…credit cards and the identity monitoring services. When I get alerts, instead of feeling grateful for the heads up, it sends me into a frenzy.

This means I have to sign onto my computer, and recall two important facts, my User ID and my password. Given that I have hundreds of these, this is no easy task.

 Yes, I know I can use one of those services, or apps, where you helplessly surrender all your passwords. Doesn’t that sound like trusting that every password floating around in the cloud is secure? Where is the cloud, anyway?

I think it’s located in a building somewhere inside, of course, a computer. That doesn’t sound too secure to me. It means I’m basically letting strangers handle my most private information.

 Didn’t your mother tell you not to talk to strangers?

 As it turns out, because I haven’t used my credit card at a certain store in a few years, they cancelled my card.

The nerve of them.

Really?

Didn’t they practically beg me to sign up for their card in the first place? Isn’t it in my best interest to buy big ticket items on the credit card that gives me cash back?

 Why was I so generous? Was the cashier that convincing? Somehow, I must have felt that opening that account was somehow helping her pay off her cards…another example of the saying, “No good deed goes unpunished.”  

Not the First Time

It’s happened to me so many times, I’m almost afraid to do a good deed. I’ll continue, though, because I was a Girl Scout and went to Catholic school. But I’ll admit, the thought, “this is going to come back to bite me,” does cross my mind.

Case in point: The other day I let another car merge in front of me. Then, I watched as that same car sailed through the yellow light while I was stopped cold at the red.

 I had to laugh. I could almost hear a little voice, probably mine, saying, “I told you so. No good deed goes unpunished.”

Bottom line, I believe in paying it forward, and I’ll continue to be a good- dooby.

 But, like many time -tested adages, there’s a reason for this one.

 

Is Your Brain a Time Machine?

Yes, your brain is a time machine. Your subconscious mind keeps track of every detail of your life. What they call a “life review” could be as simple as a rewind of the tape from the transcript of your life. 

And it’s not limited to just one lifetime.

Just Ask Brian

Many believe it can go back even further than one lifetime. No one was more surprised than Dr. Brian Weiss, author of “Many Lives Many Masters” when, during a routine hypnosis session, his client slipped into a previous lifetime.

 Even if you’re not a fan of this belief, the book is pretty fascinating. You can appreciate the diversity of thought. 

A Question

If your brain truly functions as a time machine, ask yourself where you’re spending most of your time…in the past, the present, or the future? It’s a choice.

Or is it?

How many times are you interrupted by a disturbing trip down memory lane? 

You’re mindlessly brushing your teeth when a memory of an encounter with your ex slips into your consciousness. Now, you’re angry. This machine has taken you to a place you didn’t really want to go. 

The Fix

Start by recognizing where you are at this present moment. This isn’t foreign territory. You aren’t lost. Your time machine is like a self -driving car with a mind of its own, and it’s taken you to a place you don’t want to be. 

Your only hope is to grab the throttle and blast yourself back to your present activity, which is brushing your teeth. You probably missed a spot anyway. Time travel can have periodontal consequences.

However, If, by chance, your time machine takes you back to your first kiss, consider yourself lucky. You’ve just won the time machine lottery. But don’t bet on it. Your brain likes to focus on the negative…it seems to value the enduring qualities of pain…lest you forget. 

My advice…don’t underestimate the workings of your brain. It’s definitely a time machine, but you usually have to steer.

What’s Your Power Animal?

Space Trash

With so many people wanting to explore Mars, I beg the question… what’s to become of earth? Not that I’m worried about our planet’s imminent devastation, but with all that space trash floating around, it could be any day.

 We aren’t the only planetary litterbugs. I recently read an article about other distant aliens dumping their trash into the galaxy. Instead of launching satellites, maybe we should be launching dumpsters. Has Elon thought of that?

The Roaches Win

Which brings me to another thought. They say that roaches will inherit the earth. As hard as they are to exterminate, I have to agree. I award second place to the ants, who make their home in the cracks in my driveway. At least, that’s where I see them. They probably have little ant time- shares all over my yard. Anyway, they’re pretty tough characters, as insects go.

As proof, there’s only one degree of separation between me and my pest control service. Watching the ants is like watching a Timex commercial… they “take a licking and keep on ticking”. As annoying as they are, you have to admire their grit.

That’s the point of this blog. No matter how many times the bait is laid, their countermove is to relocate. There are many other cracks in my driveway to choose from. They seem to be, at heart, nomads. They build, and when they’re attacked, move and re-build. They’re a living example of determination. 

At least that’s what I decided yesterday after noticing at least 10 more anthills on my way to the mailbox. I have to say…I admire their determination. I think they’ll give the roaches a fighting challenge. 

Today I heard an old children’s song, “The Ants Go Marching “. These lyrics were applied to an old Civil War song, “When Johnny Comes Marching Home”.

When I was an elementary Guidance Counselor, I invented my own lyrics during Responsibility Month. “I make my bed and clean my room…hurrah, hurrah.” There’s an ant theme running through my life, it seems.

The Real Point

In the end, I’ve become philosophical …maybe ants are my power animals…my totem.

Do you have an insect crawling through the hourglass of your life?

Before you reach for the bug spray, consider this…It’s actually a gift.

For me, they’re a model for determination.

 I’m hope I’m not the only one.

www.trowercoaching.com

Why Your Resolutions Fail

Welcome 2021!

It’s January 2021, and it couldn’t arrive at a better time. 

It’s a fresh start, and this means New Year’s Resolutions. 

The trick is…how long do your resolutions last? 

Buyers Remorse

I think the biggest winners in the Resolution Lotto are the fitness gyms. How many times have you signed up for a gym membership, totally intending to get buff and skinny, but by February, you’ve got buyer’s remorse. 

It doesn’t have to be this way. How do we keep falling for the “same- old same- old” every year?

I’ll tell you how. We know what we want, but not how to get there. This is why most resolutions fail. In fact, I believe there are 5 reasons why your New Year’s Resolutions fail.

Why Your Resolutions Fail

#1. It’s not your resolution. It’s someone else’s resolution for you. In other words, you’re trying to make someone else happy. Only, guess what? It doesn’t work. It’s a sure- fire road to self- sabotage. It’s a “should” instead of a passionate “want”. My advice: Dump this resolution and find your own.

#2. It’s not specific enough. Want to lose weight? Too vague. How much weight do you want to lose? Want to make better grades? Exactly what grade do you want to make? In what subject? You get the idea. Whoever said, “the devil’s in the details” was a genius. Vagueness gets you nowhere. It’s like being stuck in quicksand. Figure out exactly what you want to change…exactly!

#3. It’s a wish without a plan. You want to lose weight, but you lack a plan. What are you going to do differently? What steps are you going to take? When? You want to raise your grade-point, but your lack of a plan has you stuck in the wish position. You need weekly action steps in writing. Grab your pen and paper. Get this in writing! The pen truly is mightier than the sword!

#4. You’re a perfectionist. Your favorite word is “someday”. Perfectionists never feel quite ready for the task at hand. Hence, they’re procrastinators. They have good intentions, but that’s about as far as it goes. They’re stuck in neutral. If this sounds like you, I offer two words…first draft. You have to be willing to do it imperfectly. If not, you’ll never get started. It’s called “priming the pump”. 

#5. You’re the Lone Ranger. You’re not accountable to anyone but yourself. You’re like the Lonely Maytag Repair Man. As humans, we’re social creatures. We need each other. We need both encouragement and accountability to reach the finish line. Even if you’re the ultimate self-starter, it’s simply more fun to let someone know what you’re accomplishing along the way. Whether it’s a friend, a parent, or a Life Coach, don’t go it alone.

If you have a goal you’d like to accomplish, or a resolution you’d like to keep, as a Certified Life Coach, my goal is to help you reach your goal.

Bottom line…no more buyer’s remorse.

Check out my January special

http://www.trowercoaching.com

What Have You Noticed?

I Have Questions!

I surprise myself. After all the years I’ve spent on this planet, I still have a lot of questions.

For example, I’ve recently noticed that the crinkly sound of a cat treat bag is almost identical to the crinkly sound of a potato chip bag, or any other tasty human treat. 

Healthy foods also come in crinkly bags. I just can’t think of any at the moment. 

This wouldn’t be a problem, but the sound of crinkling sends “TREAT ALERT” signals throughout my house, and the cats come running. After all, if I have a treat, then they expect as much.

 This is has made me aware of how often I go to the kitchen for a treat. My cats are like little diet alarms. I’d like to tell the veterinary industry to come up with a different type of packaging.

The Wind

Another thing I’ve noticed recently has to do with the weather. I grew up in Oklahoma, where the wind comes sweeping down the plains.

 In Florida, we’re in the middle of a cold front. Ok… north Florida. When the temperature hits the uncomfortably cold mark, which is higher than you might imagine, guess what comes with it? 

You guessed it…wind…cold wind. I’ve noticed that warm weather doesn’t seem to stir up much wind, which is fine with me… one less bad hair day. 

Now, my question is, and I’m not a meteorologist, why does the wind come only when it’s cold? Isn’t it bad enough that I’m already freezing without any wind? Maybe I just notice it because of the extreme discomfort. If you wear contact lenses, you know what I’m talking about.

Save the Sun

Another question I wonder about is why, when it causes heart attacks, strokes, and insomnia, do we still have to switch back and forth from daylight savings time?

I love daylight! It’s worth saving! I don’t like changes that come with dire warnings about potential health catastrophes.

Yes, I get it that the kids at the bus stops need light in the morning. Wouldn’t it be easier to delay the start of school one hour?  I don’t think those stroke and heart attack warnings are aimed at kids.

Do I sound like a curmudgeon? 

I know I’m not alone.

Here’s where you say, “Me too”.

The Dilemma of Faith

The Redirection

I just read an article by Dr. Monroe Mann, Psych Ph.d, about dealing with rejection. As a former therapist, I’m familiar with the term “reframe,” which means changing the way you think about something when you’re stuck in a negative mindset.

She has an intriguing take on this concept, and calls it a “redirection”. Instead of feeling rejected when things don’t work out, instead, you can look at it as a Plan B, a chance to take a different path. 

You could call it fate, bad luck, or divine providence. Maybe God sees things from a bigger picture. 

What Did I Just Say?

Did I really say, “maybe”? Where’s my faith? 

I think of myself as a person of faith. When I look back, I’ve had plenty of “redirections” in my life. My first reaction to rejection or implosion of my best laid plans is usually negative. I look for someone to blame, and that someone is usually me.

Am I just not good enough, skilled enough, lovable enough, or, in a word, enough?

Time For A Redirect!

This type of thinking is the antithesis of faith. Having faith in something bigger than yourself has a positive effect on not only your state of mind, but your health. This isn’t wishful thinking. There are extensive research articles on Pub Med to back this up. 

What if I decided to interpret rejections and other downturns as a divine redirection from a Higher Power who always has my back?

Maybe my best prayer could be, “this or something better”. 

That way, when the “this” doesn’t manifest, I can look forward to the “something better.”

I like to think of myself as intelligent and rational enough to make my own decisions, and I do. I believe trusting myself, after doing my homework, is the right path. 

But if I’m honest, when it doesn’t work out, my knee jerk reaction is that someone or something has to pay. 

If I allow the scapegoat to be my faith, I’m toast.

The Resolution

Maybe one of my New Year’s Resolution will be honoring the redirections in my life as the “something better”. 

That’s my Resolution.

http://www.trowercoaching.com

Give Me Patience…Now!

The Problem with Patience

There are many opportunities in life to develop patience, if that’s your goal.
 
 I learned many years ago not to pray for patience. If you do, get ready to experience some version of “hurry up and wait.”
 
Life, or God, will give you multiple opportunities to develop patience, and unless you’re already a patient person, it won’t be classified as enjoyable or fun.

 There are multiple ways the universe helps you develop patience…but steel yourself.
 
Take the Pandemic, for instance. Social distancing began two weeks before my birthday in March, and now I’m wondering if my next birthday will be a similar lockdown. 
 
In the meantime, I bought two adorable kittens and binge- watched “The Crown”, all in an effort to distract myself… but I’m still pacing the floor. 
 
It’s My Fault!

Sometimes, instead of mastering the waiting game, I invite it. Case in point…when I wait until the last minute to leave the house for an appointment, and hit every red light on the road.
 
As I feel my adrenaline racing, my mind chastises me with a million “woulda, coulda, shouda’s”. If impatience is so uncomfortable, you’d think I could think of a Plan B, like maybe leaving the house earlier.
 
How about waiting in line at the grocery store? This is another challenge. Einstein was right. Time is relative. A minute in that line feels like fifteen. 
 
Once I advance far enough to reach the magazines, I can at least distract myself as I flip through the pictures, and hope the cashier notices. Actually, I should be grateful I don’t have time to actually read the articles.

But that would be looking at the bright side. Instead, it’s all cortisol overload…no bright side to that.
 
Here’s a question…if physicians really cared about my health, why would they make me wait so long in the aptly named “waiting” room?

Don’t they know they’re causing my cortisol to spike? Don’t they remember their Hippocratic oath?
 
Bottom line…back to square one…

Praying for patience. 

The Scarlet “A”

I confess. I’ve been putting something off.

I always tell my clients procrastination is a result of perfectionism. I’ve never actually given myself that label, but there’s one assignment I have to admit I’ve been avoiding.

The scarlet “A” doesn’t stand for adultery, alcoholism, or asexuality. It stands for Alzheimer’s. 

I think most people over 50 are aware of the ticking clock, and with that, the so- called gifts of old age. 

“I’m not that old,” I think. 

“Ok…compared to who…Methuselah?” 

I Bought The Book!

So, I bought a book about Alzheimer’s prevention, just in case.

 I’ve made it to page 36, where I met my nemesis…the list. On this page was a list of words. The assignment was to memorize the words, distract yourself for 10 minutes with another activity, and then see how many words you can recall. This was a blood curdling assignment.

Two Dull Blades

My sister, who lives in another state, often asks me, “What did you do yesterday?” And every time she asks, I say, “I’ll have to look at my to-do list from yesterday.” It’s a constant reminder that maybe my memory isn’t as sharp as I’d like to think.

 But then again, my sister keeps asking that same question over and over. Maybe she’s not so sharp either. Maybe we’re just two dull blades over the telephone wires.

I’m going to get the courage to do the list, but I have to be up for the task. It can’t be in the morning because I’m sharper at night. I’ve proven that theory with the crossword.

It can’t be after a meal because digestion slows the blood flow to my brain, or that’s what I tell myself. 

Someday I’ll find the courage. In the meantime, I’ll just procrastinate.

I can’t stay on page 36 forever…

Can I?

Food As Friend…Food As Foe

How’s Your Relationship?

I’m in a bad relationship. 

Unfortunately, it’s with food. Food, which used to be my friend, now seems to be my chief nemesis and saboteur. 

The Disease Connection

As it turns out, food seems to be related to almost every disease on the planet. There are a million books on Amazon testifying, in some fashion, that you’d better be careful what you put in your mouth or, in so many words, you’re a goner.

If you’ve managed to live past fifty, you probably already have several “conditions”. I used to think, as a kid, that people died of only one malady. Apparently not. By the time you kick the bucket, you may have several issues, and buckets of pills.

I learned this fact at my last colonoscopy. The nurse looked at the short list of my medications, and, looking back at me, exclaimed, “Is this all?” I think she was disappointed. 

I read a fascinating article about how diseases are now thought to be connected to your microbiome…your gut. In other words, you’ve got 5 feet of potential disease triggers right below your belly button. Who knew?

Two Dread Diseases

The article connected the microbiome to Macular Degeneration and Alzheimer’s, two conditions in the top ten of the most dreaded diseases.

 He’s published an entire book on the subject.

So, of course I ordered it. I have enough medical trivia at this point to open my own practice, or so I tell myself. 

What Do You Avoid?

At this point in my life, I have a long list of foods I avoid. I even made a chart for my migraines.  If you’d like a copy of my “Migraine Trigger Chart”, I’d be glad to share.

Foods don’t affect just one organ, either. One bad food is like a spray gun, aimed to hit my brain and stomach with one pump of the trigger. But, one gastroenterologist gave me some good news. He told me I could eat anything I want.

Sounded suspicious to me.

I remember the poem written by the elderly woman who lamented that if she could do it over she’d “eat more ice cream and fewer beans”.

Does she have a private practice? 

If so, sign me up.