What Do You Really Want?

The Important Question

The first question I usually ask my Life Coaching clients is, “What are you wanting for yourself?” 

That’s a loaded question because, of course, we’re all wanting innumerable things. You could probably make a list of 50 wishes, or “wants” in the next 50 seconds…easy-peasy.

But what do you really want? What’s most important?

 Now, we get down to the meat and potatoes. You have to prioritize. What’s numero uno on your list? 

How Can You Know?

One way to figure out what you really want is to identify your biggest problem at the moment.

Once you’ve identified what you want, you can build your roadmap to attain this prized “whatever”. This means action steps. This is the opposite of wishful thinking, similar to how exercise is the opposite of sitting, which I hear is the new smoking.

Why Go It Alone?

Can you build your own roadmap? Or would you like someone to help you along the way…to serve as a listening ear, encourager, and accountability source?

As they say, “two heads are better than one.” 

Let’s cut to the chase. Maybe what you need is a Coach. 

Ok. You’re a mover and a shaker. Why would you want a Coach?

Yes, Why?

There’s a commercial on TV that says something to the effect,” An object in motion is likely to stay in motion, while an object at rest probably stays at rest.” 

I may not have the exact words, but you get the idea. Humans need motivation. A Coach provides motivation and keeps you accountable. This is why Mastermind groups work well. The members are accountable to each other. It’s harder to drift off course.

So, I guess what I’m saying is, as a Certified Life Coach, I’d love to help you stay on course. I’d love to see you achieve your goals. 

But first, you have to know what you want. Once you zero in, you’re on your way.

So, make a list. Dig deep. Prioritize.

What do you really want?


No Good Deed Goes Unpunished


I have to add one more annoyance to my list of stress triggers…credit cards and the identity monitoring services. When I get alerts, instead of feeling grateful for the heads up, it sends me into a frenzy.

This means I have to sign onto my computer, and recall two important facts, my User ID and my password. Given that I have hundreds of these, this is no easy task.

 Yes, I know I can use one of those services, or apps, where you helplessly surrender all your passwords. Doesn’t that sound like trusting that every password floating around in the cloud is secure? Where is the cloud, anyway?

I think it’s located in a building somewhere inside, of course, a computer. That doesn’t sound too secure to me. It means I’m basically letting strangers handle my most private information.

 Didn’t your mother tell you not to talk to strangers?

 As it turns out, because I haven’t used my credit card at a certain store in a few years, they cancelled my card.

The nerve of them.


Didn’t they practically beg me to sign up for their card in the first place? Isn’t it in my best interest to buy big ticket items on the credit card that gives me cash back?

 Why was I so generous? Was the cashier that convincing? Somehow, I must have felt that opening that account was somehow helping her pay off her cards…another example of the saying, “No good deed goes unpunished.”  

Not the First Time

It’s happened to me so many times, I’m almost afraid to do a good deed. I’ll continue, though, because I was a Girl Scout and went to Catholic school. But I’ll admit, the thought, “this is going to come back to bite me,” does cross my mind.

Case in point: The other day I let another car merge in front of me. Then, I watched as that same car sailed through the yellow light while I was stopped cold at the red.

 I had to laugh. I could almost hear a little voice, probably mine, saying, “I told you so. No good deed goes unpunished.”

Bottom line, I believe in paying it forward, and I’ll continue to be a good- dooby.

 But, like many time -tested adages, there’s a reason for this one.


What’s Your Power Animal?

Space Trash

With so many people wanting to explore Mars, I beg the question… what’s to become of earth? Not that I’m worried about our planet’s imminent devastation, but with all that space trash floating around, it could be any day.

 We aren’t the only planetary litterbugs. I recently read an article about other distant aliens dumping their trash into the galaxy. Instead of launching satellites, maybe we should be launching dumpsters. Has Elon thought of that?

The Roaches Win

Which brings me to another thought. They say that roaches will inherit the earth. As hard as they are to exterminate, I have to agree. I award second place to the ants, who make their home in the cracks in my driveway. At least, that’s where I see them. They probably have little ant time- shares all over my yard. Anyway, they’re pretty tough characters, as insects go.

As proof, there’s only one degree of separation between me and my pest control service. Watching the ants is like watching a Timex commercial… they “take a licking and keep on ticking”. As annoying as they are, you have to admire their grit.

That’s the point of this blog. No matter how many times the bait is laid, their countermove is to relocate. There are many other cracks in my driveway to choose from. They seem to be, at heart, nomads. They build, and when they’re attacked, move and re-build. They’re a living example of determination. 

At least that’s what I decided yesterday after noticing at least 10 more anthills on my way to the mailbox. I have to say…I admire their determination. I think they’ll give the roaches a fighting challenge. 

Today I heard an old children’s song, “The Ants Go Marching “. These lyrics were applied to an old Civil War song, “When Johnny Comes Marching Home”.

When I was an elementary Guidance Counselor, I invented my own lyrics during Responsibility Month. “I make my bed and clean my room…hurrah, hurrah.” There’s an ant theme running through my life, it seems.

The Real Point

In the end, I’ve become philosophical …maybe ants are my power animals…my totem.

Do you have an insect crawling through the hourglass of your life?

Before you reach for the bug spray, consider this…It’s actually a gift.

For me, they’re a model for determination.

 I’m hope I’m not the only one.


Why You Can Call Yourself Courageous

Yes, You Really Are Courageous!

I’ve read that only the most courageous souls volunteer to come to earth.

If you’re reading this, count yourself among the courageous. 

The Evidence

As a former history teacher, I’m well aware that horrific times have occurred with each generation …the Crusades, the Spanish Inquisition, the Holocaust, the atomic bomb, and multiple other atrocities you can probably name if you’re a student of history.

Man seems always ready to conquer. There has to be a winner, which means there has to be a loser. Maybe that’s why they call it “the game of life.”

It seems most exploration on the planet is merely a race for autonomy…a need for power and acquisition, determining who can conquer the world first. 

 Is it any surprise that the first act after landing on the moon was to stake the American flag into the moon’s sandy surface? This isn’t a criticism…just an observation.

Our Changing Planet

I used to live on Amelia Island in Florida. This beautiful island has been under 8 flags…Spain, England, France, the Patriots Flag, the Green Cross Flag, the Mexican Revolutionary Flag, the National Flag of the Confederacy, and finally, since 1862, the U.S. Flag. A lot of nations wanted this island. 

When I was a kid, our family had a globe. I used to study it to see where different countries were located. Now, that globe is an anachronism. It’s obsolete. Just look at Europe. Look at Russia. The boundaries have moved and the names have changed. Little stays the same. 

Do We Question our Courage?

So, what makes us so special, so courageous? Maybe we’re not. Maybe this belief is simply a balm for our overall lack of meaning… a band-aid for the soul. Maybe this is what Thoreau meant when he said, “most men lead lives of quiet desperation”. 

Now we’re involved in the race for space. I think this is programmed into our DNA. It’s not a bad thing. I define it as being pro-active. What if we’re hit by an asteroid? What if our earth, for some reason, becomes inhabitable? Having a condo on Mars may someday be as common as a summer home in Aruba. So, this type of exploration makes sense…it’s critical to our survival as a species.

Throughout history there have been challenges. But here’s one of the challenges of this century. We now have the ability to witness worldwide calamities in real time. Social media and the 24-hour news see to it. It takes courage to live in a world where there are no blinders. It reminds me of the scene in “A Clockwork Orange” where they force the guy’s eyes open so he has to watch the film they’re showing. There’s no place to hide.

The Good News

But before you get too depressed, here’s the good news. There’s an antidote, and it’s called purpose. Knowing your purpose is the answer to serenity.

 On a spiritual level, you need to believe you’re here for a reason…at this time…in this place…in this way. 

This is why I love the quote from Richard Bach in his book,” Illusions”, where he says, “Here is a test to find whether your mission on earth is finished: If you’re alive, it isn’t”.